


Love Isn't Easy - Perfect Match

by GarnetSeren



Series: Love Isn't Easy - Otome Collection [9]
Category: Perfect Match (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Families of Choice, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Kissing, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Partnership, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Psychological Drama, Romance, Sacrifice, Slow Romance, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:00:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarnetSeren/pseuds/GarnetSeren
Summary: They'd always been close, skirting the boundary between friendship and something more, but after reading the words: assessment results suggest a strong romantic attachment to client #327, she knew things between her and Damien would never be the same again. And from the way he looked at her, hope and fear equally clear in his gorgeous eyes, she was certain they both knew this wasn't the same as the lingering looks and slightly too long hugs they'd shared over the years. There was no going back from this.*A collection of interconnected, chronological Damien (and Dames) related one-shots*
Relationships: Dames & Main Character (Perfect Match), Dames/Main Character (Perfect Match), Damien Nazario/Main Character (Perfect Match)
Series: Love Isn't Easy - Otome Collection [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636357
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. Candid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tornflames](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornflames/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been a strange night, that's all Damien could really think, and he couldn't help that most of his attention was on his best friend as she danced with her date. Though after that ridiculous drinking game he'd played with the Park cousins, Damien couldn't help wondering if it really mattered that she'd brought Hayden. Honestly, revelations from the game had left him reeling, so when she finally stepped away from her date, Damien was determined to steal her away so they could talk... even if he knew he'd never have the courage to outright ask her if they could be more than just friends.

It had been a strange night, that's all Damien could really think, even as he stood to the side telling stories about some of his more ridiculous cases. However, his attention was still mostly on Nadine as she danced with her date. She looked amazing in the black blouse and pink trousers _he'd_ helped her pick out, with her tanned skin glowing in the soft lighting and her purple ombré hair falling down her back like a waterfall. As usual, she wasn't over done, wearing just the right amount of make up to highlight her already gorgeous features... Damien stifled a groan. He _had_ to stop thinking about Nadine like that, she was his best friend, not to mention the fact she'd brought that Hayden here as her date; granted, only after he and Nadia had coerced her into inviting him, but that wasn't the point. Though after that ridiculous drinking game he'd played with the Park cousins, Damien couldn't help wondering if it really mattered that Nadine had a date. He'd described her as subtly as he could when she'd asked what his 'perfect match' would be like... playing a familiar game of chicken with himself, wondering how honest he could be before he needed to backtrack... but then Nadia had upped the stakes by bluntly asking if Nadine had ever felt anything for him, and instead of saying no or avoiding the question by taking a drink like Damien expected her to, she'd looked him straight in the eye and said yes. It had left him reeling, though he'd tried to play it cool after getting over his initial shock, however he hadn't been able to stop replaying the scenario over and over in his head since. So by the time Nadine finally stepped away from Hayden, Damien couldn't help interrupting his own conversation just to steal a few moments alone with her, even if he logically knew he'd chicken out from bringing it up again.

“Want to grab some beers and find a quiet place to think?” Damien asked, his mouth close to her ear just to be heard over the music.

When Nadine looked up at him, her full lips quirking up at one side in amusement, there was that adorable twinkle of mischief in her warm brown eyes that he loved. She didn't bother to verbally reply, just loosely curled her fingers around a few of his like she often did when they'd both had a drink, before leading him away from the crowded terrace. Damien grabbed two bottles of local craft beer from the cooler on the way, then redirected Nadine away from the apartment to the fire escape that was lit by dozens of string lights. They sat side by side on one of the steel steps, close enough that their sides pressed together; with anyone else it would have felt awkward or even unnerving, but having Nadine close always just felt right. Though before he risked doing something stupid, Damien uncapped their beers using the handrail before handing her a bottle.

“So... now it's just us, I've got to ask... what did it for you? The chiselled looks? The puppy dog eyes? The whispered sweet nothings? An aversion to Tide Pods?” he asked, deadpan.

Nadine snorted. “You're an ass, you know that?”

“It's part of my charm,” he shot back, playfully. “But seriously, how do you feel about your _perfect_ match?”

She took a sip of beer, before giving him a wry smile. “Hayden's really nice, but honestly? He's a little too perfect, isn't he? I mean, I'm almost convinced he's a paid actor or something. He's a little too 'ideal', don't you think?”

In all honesty, Damien hadn't expected Nadine's answer. She'd seemed so happy dancing with Hayden earlier, and normally she and Nadia were the ones insisting he was too cynical and needed to give people a chance. Nadine was usually the type of person to give someone the benefit of doubt unless there were solid facts to go on, so hearing her voice her doubts was surprising and very intriguing. There'd never been any doubt that she had a good head on her shoulders, and she was honestly the perfect balance between his scepticism and Nadia's slightly ditzy brand of optimism... basically the glue that held their strange little friendship group together... but with how she'd acted around Hayden during the party, Damien hadn't expected Nadine to have doubts; they'd seemed uncomfortably good together even after only knowing each other a few days.

“Better than a con artist,” he shrugged, taking a swig of beer.

“You think he's a con artist?” Nadine asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No. I think Steve's a con artist,” Damien smirked, earning him a chuckle from his companion. “What? You think Eros is on the level?”

She smiled before resting her head on his shoulder. “Are we talking regardless of the freaky way they tracked me down to where we were having breakfast the other day, to send me a bunch of flowers?”

“I'm glad you trusted me about them possibly tampering with your mobile,” he replied, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder.

“Getting a second phone that just you, Nadia and my folks have the number to was a small price to pay for a little peace of mind,” she replied, quietly. “The whole thing already felt weird. The fact Hayden looks _exactly_ like the 'preferred type' I picked doesn't make me feel any better about him possibly being a paid actor, and the flowers Eros sent were actually kinda stalker-ish... so yeah, I feel a little better about leaving the old phone in my apartment.”

“If you feel that strongly, why did you invite Hayden tonight? Why not cut all ties to Eros?” he asked, frowning in concern.

Nadine looking up at him then, shooting him the little half smile she did when she wanted to reassure him. “Once a journalist, always a journalist I guess. I know I don't work at the paper any more, but after April's exposé on the Stirlings in Birchport last year, I figured this could be another big scoop for her.”

Damien huffed a laugh, not at all surprised. “How she doing now anyway?”

“Well, she still loving living on that houseboat with Flynn, and the paper kept her on as a freelance feature writer... so she's living her best life I suppose,” Nadine explained, her smile more genuine.

“You still write the odd column for them, why not write the piece yourself if you're so adamant about investigating them?” he suggested, seriously.

“Oh don't pretend you're not itching to get to the bottom of them too,” she teased, angling her body so she could look at him fully without wriggling out of the one armed hug they still had going on. “I won't lie, it crossed my mind. But I'm mostly focusing on my novel right now... oh, and playing secretary whenever you get swamped with paper work of course.”

“Which I'm immensely thankful for,” Damien smiled, his arm sliding down to settle more comfortably around her waist. “So how's the book? The Haunting of...”

“Braidwood Manor,” Nadine supply, grinning. “And good but we've gotten off topic.”

He couldn't deny she had a point, but that usually happened when it was just the two of them. They'd start off talking about one topic and meander through a dozen more subjects, until one of them would realise they'd spent hours just chatting when they had other obligations that needed their attention... like a party they were both supposed to be at, where Nadine had a date probably looking for her. Just thinking about that made Damien sigh, but he downed his beer before getting up and offering her his hand; earning him an understanding smile that looked a tiny bit sad.

“Guess we better go back and pretend we're happy for Nadia,” she stated, accepting his gesture.

“So I'm not the only one thinking moving in together was a bad move?” he suggested, helping her to her feet.

Nadine shot him an incredulous look. “They've been dating for _two_ months, what do you think? But you know as well as I do there's no point trying to talk Nadia out of something.”

“I guess we'll just need to be there to pick up the pieces,” Damien said, his thumb absent-mindedly running across her knuckles.

She squeezed his hand in agreement, a half smile on her lips as she simply sighed: “Again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The character April that Nadine mentions, is based on my MC from Veil of Secrets. You can find some April/Flynn oneshots here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23756308/chapters/57062506


	2. Full Disclosure (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Standing side by side with Damien as she read the words 'Assessment results suggest a strong romantic attachment to client #327', certainly didn't help the way her heart suddenly began to race. That was HER client number, and from the way Damien barely met her gaze, she was certain they both knew this wasn't the same as the lingering looks and slightly too long hugs they'd shared over the years. This was finally something they needed to talk about, a facet of their friendship that needed to be discussed. She had a feeling there was no going back from this.

Nadine couldn't help checking over her shoulder one last time, even after they'd already accessed Sloane's computer and read Steve's file. Everything about this investigation had felt fraught, and none of it made her feel better about both Steve and Hayden's sudden disappearances, not to mention Steve's bizarre reappearance. However, it certainly proved that she and Damien had been right to be sceptical about Eros, though the more they discovered, the more uneasy Nadine felt. It was obvious they weren't dealing with some sham dating agency that employed actors like she'd originally assumed, there was something much more sinister at play. In all honesty, despite their involvement with Eros starting with Nadia, Nadine really wished they'd kept her cousin out of this investigation; partially because she couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to go seriously wrong... they _had_ swiped Sloane's keycard, broken into Eros' building and were searching through their computer system, after all... but also because Nadine wasn't certain Nadia would be able to keep her emotions under control. She loved her cousin unconditionally, but she'd never call Nadia a logical person, and now that they'd uncovered files labelled with both her and Damien's names, Nadine was certain things were about to get much worse.

“Ready Dee?” she asked, her gaze still locked where Nadia hovered the cursor over his file.

“As I'll ever be,” he replied, quietly.

Without even thinking, Nadine reached for his hand and curled her fingers loosely around his as she looked up to flash him a tight lipped smile. Damien returned the gesture, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze as they turned their attention back to the computer. At his go ahead, Nadia opened up his file and Nadine quickly scanned through the document... her hand instinctively holding Damien's tighter as she read the background information Eros had on her best friend; information about his time with Interpol that he'd never felt comfortable enough to share with her. Nadine felt awful reading it, but Damien had said himself that discovering what Eros had on them both would be important to their investigation. However, the next page of his document didn't feel any less like an invasion of privacy either, even though she'd already known he'd taken Eros' test and been deemed 'ineligible'. She'd always just assumed it had something to do with his career as a Private Investigator, which made a lot more sense now they'd delved into the company's shady dealings, but it was the: **Assessment results suggest a strong romantic attachment to client #327** , that really caught Nadine's attention. That was _her_ number, and her heart beat a little faster at the implications.

“Wow...” she murmured, without even thinking.

“Wow, indeed. I've got some serious phone calls to make. How'd they even _find_ half this stuff?” Damien wondered aloud, finally releasing her hand. “Also, did I or did I not tell you this whole Eros thing was a terrible idea?”

“And you know I agreed with you,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah. Your paranoia paid off for once,” Nadia piped up. “But... what's this about 'strong romantic attachment' to Nadine?”

Damien frowned. “This is _not_ the time or the place, Nadia.”

“Time and the place for what?” the woman grinned. “... Nadine?”

“I... _would_ like to know about the 'romantic attachment',” she began, cautiously.

“Seriously?” Damien asked, seeming part shocked and part incredulous.

“Dead serious,” Nadine replied, meeting his gaze without hesitation. “But you're right, this isn't the time or place, we're in the middle of an investigation and it's best if we get out of here as soon as possible.”

“You're letting him off that easily?” Nadia whined, actually pouting.

“Look... I can see why they said there was a 'romantic connection'...” Damien admitted, gruffly. “But if we're going to talk about this, we're not doing it in the middle of a break in. Can we just... focus for now.”

“... so there _is_ something to talk about?” Nadia beamed.

“Just open up my file,” Nadine sighed. “We need to get out of here sooner rather than later.”

Damien shot her the most grateful look she'd ever been on the receiving end of, and she gave him a small reassuring smile in turn. However, after knowing him for four years, Nadine _knew_ Damien... she knew his tells... so no matter how composed he was acting, she knew he was nervous; it also hadn't gone unnoticed by her that although the file, Nadia and she had all referred to a 'romantic _attachment_ ', Damien had said 'romantic _connection_ ', and whilst that might be a tiny detail in the grand scheme of things, it felt important to Nadine. So when she caught him glancing at her whilst they were supposed to be checking her file, she lightly brushed his hand like normal and almost sighed in relief when his little finger curled around hers. They'd always been physically affectionate with each other, and there'd always been a faint undercurrent whenever they were alone together... a vague undertone to their sarcasm and banter that had always made her wonder... but neither of them had ever crossed that invisible line. So now regardless of everything else that was going on, Nadine couldn't help think of the possibilities. She just hoped they'd get the chance to talk about it soon.


	3. Full Disclosure (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret he'd kept close to his chest for years was finally out in the open, and although Damien had hoped that his best friend might somehow return his romantic feelings towards her, he'd always been too much of a realist to ever believe she would. However, that didn't stop his gaze from lingering on her beautiful face for longer than it should, it didn't stop his hands from itching to reach for her when she gave him a sweet, reassuring smile. So despite everything else that was happening, Damien guess it was time to tell her how he really felt. It was now or never.

How something that should have been a routine investigation turned into them being on the run, Damien wasn't sure, and if the truth about Eros... about Hayden... wasn't bad enough to be dealing with, things had to get worse by Alana being at the old safehouse. He hadn't seen or heard anything of his ex in almost five years, but now here she was, at the _exact_ same time they needed to be laying low; and yes, perhaps he was a suspicious person, but Damien couldn't shake the feeling that it felt too 'convenient' for it to be a coincidence. Of course, he hadn't said anything to anyone else about his doubts, but he'd gotten some private satisfaction when Nadine had looked Alana in the eye at dinner and declared:

“I don't know you, I don't trust you, so like hell am I explaining anything to you.”

Even Sloane and Hayden's dog growled at Alana whenever they were in the same room, and perhaps it was petty, but it _did_ help Damien feel a little better. So had seeing Nadine in that stunning, sheer boysenberry coloured gown she'd worn to dinner, with her hair pinned up in some fancy twist; yes he knew his colour shades, you couldn't be friends with Nadia Park for four years without sitting through _multiple_ talks about colour theory. However, Damien couldn't deny that as stunning as she'd looked in the evening gown, he couldn't help preferring Nadine looking more relaxed in a casual denim dress and her favourite pair of Converse, with her purple ombré waves flowing freely once again. It had been one of her signature looks for as long as he'd known her, and whilst she was always beautiful, the sight just brought Damien a sense of peace he couldn't really explain. It was the type of thing she wore when they went out to lunch together, or curled up on the sofa late at night to watch a movie... just another little quirk of hers that couldn't help feeling like home. So the fact Nadine was dressed like that as they walked through the moonlit Germanic woodland was comforting, grounding even. It made it easier to remember this was his best friend he was talking to, that she wouldn't judge when he admitted what had happened in Beitan. So he told her the truth: about the mission, the mess he'd been in when he returned to the States, the fact that her friendship had stopped him drinking himself into an early grave. Now he just needed to find the courage to tell her the rest.

“Damien... I'm here for you, you know that,” Nadine murmured, her fingers curling loosely around his.

“I do know,” he assured, giving her a small grateful smile. “You've always been there when I needed you. The one constant good thing in my life... and I almost lost you.”

She shook her head and silently hugged him, giving him the chance to spill his secrets without pushing; Nadine was good like that, she knew how to get him to open up without being invasive. He'd always appreciated that. She made him vulnerable in ways no one else had, yet still managed to make him feel safe, cared for. So despite being suddenly very aware that he'd forgotten to pull his t-shirt back on before they set off for their night time wander, Damien wound his arms around Nadine's waist and squeezed her gently.

“I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you, and I'd been too much of a coward to tell you how I felt,” he stated, barely resisting the urge to bury his face in the crook of her neck.

Nadine pulled back just enough to look him in the eye. “Felt? Or feel?”

He took a moment to silently memorise how stunning she looked bathed in the moonlight, knowing it was now or never... and hoping he wasn't about to ruin the best friendship he'd ever had. “I care about you, Nadine. More than I've ever cared about anyone. No matter how dark my life gets, you're always there lighting it up again. You're... you're _everything_ , Naddie.” Damien took a shuddering breath, stepping away but capturing her dainty hands in his calloused ones. “And I know you have Hayden, you've already got your _perfect match_ , but I...”

“We... kind of broke up,” Nadine interrupted, quietly.

“Oh... Naddie, I'm so sorry. I had no idea,” he apologised, lightly squeezing her fingers.

She gave him a bittersweet smile. “Actually, I'm not sure we were ever really together. I mean, you know I thought he was a paid actor. We hadn't even kissed before all this... and now I guess we know why he was so 'perfect' for me. But it was a mutual decision. With all this new information, it's better to support each other as friends... not to mention the ethical issues of being with someone who was _programmed_ to want you. That just feels so... wrong.”

“You're probably right,” Damien sighed, his thumbs stroking over her knuckles. “And maybe I'm being selfish for burdening you with this _now_ of all times. This is the worst timing. You're already dealing with so many revelations, you don't need another. But I just...”

His words were cut off when Nadine expectedly surged forward and pressed her ridiculously soft lips to his. Embarrassingly, Damien was so caught off guard that he froze for a moment... he'd always hoped that she might feel something for him too, but he'd never dared believe it... but then he melted into the kiss; a half groan, half sob caught at the back of his throat as his arms wrapped back around her waist and gently pulled her closer. He could smell the faint hint of Nadine's floral perfume that still clung to her skin and the vanilla scent of her shampoo, as he raised a hand to bury it into her purple waves like he'd always wanted to. She coaxed him to deepen their kiss with a teasing lick, but when their tongues started a languid dance together, Damien was almost surprised at how tender it was. It was sweet and gentle, and made him feel wanted in a way that wasn't purely physical. It made him feel cared for... if he was less of a realist, he might have even said loved. When they finally pulled a part, Damien kept his eyes closed, not wanting Nadine to see the tears that unexpectedly pricked his eyes as he leant his forehead against hers, though he couldn't stop his lips from trembling whilst he tried to steady his whirling emotions.

“You didn't have to do that,” he said, his voice thick with emotion... not daring to believe that wonderful kiss wasn't done out of pity.

“You're not the only one with feelings, Dee,” Nadine whispered. “I've wanted to kiss you for a _ridiculously_ long time, I just wasn't sure you felt the same.”

Damien huffed an astonished laugh, opening his eyes before cupping her face and brushing his thumb along her lower lip. “We're a couple of idiots, aren't we?”

“Just kiss me again, damn it!” she chuckled.

He obliged... peppering her face in feather-light kisses that made Nadine giggle; it probably hadn't been what she meant, but Damien couldn't help grinning as he pulled her into a tight embrace, his heart racing at the implications of knowing his feelings were actually, amazingly returned. Though with everything that had happened to them and their friends recently, he didn't want to push Nadine into anything and he told her as such.

“Same goes for you, Dee,” she smiled, gently. “We've both been through a lot... we don't need to rush this.”

“Yeah... if this is going to happen, I want to do it right,” he agreed, knowing they were both aware of the fact Hayden would undoubtedly still have feelings for her.

“So we're taking it slow?” Nadine asked, her warm brown eyes searching his.

“I waited four years to kiss you, Naddie,” Damien smiled, pulling her into another tight hug. “I think I've more than proved my patience... and you're worth the wait.”


	4. On Track

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The train journey to Moscow was the first time she'd felt relaxed in a long while. Really, it was the first time she'd fully let her guard down since originally getting involved with Eros, but whilst she'd enjoyed hanging out with everyone, her favourite part of the night was her slow dance with Damien once everyone else had gone to bed. And even though she knew he wanted to take things slow... something she completely respected... as they walked hand-in-hand along the corridor to her cabin, she didn't want their evening to end just yet.

This train journey to Moscow after everything that had happened since Hayden had first collapsed in his apartment... discovering the truth about Eros, fleeing America, running into Damien's ex, finally admitting her feelings for her best friend, Hayden collapsing again, meeting with an infamous weapons dealer and then fleeing from Berlin... had been the first time Nadine had felt relaxed in a _long_ while. It was the first time she'd fully let her guard down since getting involved with Eros, and the first time she felt she could let her hair down a little. She'd enjoyed hanging out with everyone during dinner, then later in the casino carriage... even Alana... but it had been her slow dance with Damien after everyone had gone to bed that had been Nadine's favourite part of the night. They'd always been close and she'd always enjoyed spending time with him, but moments when it was just the two of them felt much more special since they'd confessed their feelings for each other, and as they walked hand-in-hand along the corridor to her cabin, Nadine didn't want the evening to end.

“I know this is the _sappiest_ thing, but... I really just want to hold you,” Damien smiled, his thumb stroking over her knuckles. “We haven't had a chance to even talk since, ah...”

“You made your grand declaration of love?” she teased, squeezing his hand.

“Since I calmly and rationally expressed my feelings for you,” he stated, narrowing his eyes at her.

Shaking her head fondly, Nadine unlocked the door to her train compartment then led him inside, and was only slightly surprised when Damien wrapped his arms around her waist the minute the door closed, before he pressed a sweet lingering kiss to her unresisting lips. Smiling softly, her hands moved to unfasten his tie, though stopped immediately when his large hands suddenly rested over her wrists.

“Nadine?” he said, frowning slightly.

“I was under the impression you were staying tonight, but you're a jacket away from a full on suit, Dee,” she smile, patiently. “Are you telling me you're really going to sleep fully dressed?”

“Well.... no.”

“Damien, you know I'm not expecting anything, right? You want to take it slow and I respect that, you know I do,” she assured. “I just wanted to do something nice for you, but if it's too much...”

“No, it's okay,” he replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “It's nice.”

“You mean you've just remember how much we've drank, and the fact you can never get your tie undone when you're drunk?” she chuckled, reaching for his tie again.

“I'm not drunk,” he laughed, resting his hands on her hips. “Just tipsy.”

Nadine gave a hum of agreement as she also unfastened his shirt, before turning her back to him and sweeping her purple waves out the way. “Could you get the zipper?”

Instead of verbally answering, Damien pressed a light kiss to the junction where her neck met her shoulder whilst he unzipped her pink satin gown; which looked _so_ much nicer without the ridiculously large sunglasses accessorising it, that Nadia had tried to insist on. She stepped out of the dress and tossed it carelessly over a chair before walking to the small chest of drawers, not the least self-conscious at wearing only her black lingerie and high heels. Behind her, Nadine heard Damien groan and she chuckled as she unclasped then discarded her bra, before pulling on the oversized men's t-shirt she'd picked up at the train station. Finally she turned back to Damien as she kicked off her heels, finding him shaking his head at her.

“You're a tease,” he accused, smiling.

“You love it,” she retorted, before slipping into bed and holding up the cover in invitation.

Chuckling, Damien dressed down until he was clad in only form fitting boxers, before he switched off the light and got in beside her; wrapping his arm around Nadine's shoulders and pulling her close enough that she could rest her head on his chest. She couldn't help the contented sigh that escaped her as they snuggled close, and smiled up at Damien through the gloom when he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. It wasn't the first time they'd shared a bed after a night out, but it somehow felt special... significant... now they'd admitted their feelings to each other.

“How're you holding up?” she asked, quietly.

“I've been overwhelmed at the thought of losing you ever since we learned of the danger, but right now having you in my arms... it feels good,” he replied, kissing her forehead.

“I know what you mean,” Nadine stated, squeezing him gently. “But... I'm still curious why you want to take things slow. I'm not complaining and I'm happy to wait, but I'd like to know what's going on in your mind.”

Damien moved to press his forehead to hers. “I just... I want us to be at home, fully settled and back to normal. I want to be a part of your real life... your boring, mundane, everyday life. Being in dangerous situations like this, forced to rely on each other, all adrenaline... it can heighten emotions, so it's...”

Nadine reached up to cup his stubbled cheek. “You're worried I'll leave you when things aren't exciting any more... like Alana did.”

He physically flinch, before sighing. “I just want to make sure you want me for... me. The real me. The boring, tired, cranky me whose idea of a fun Friday night is getting drunk and making sarcastic commentary on made-for-TV movies.”

“Did you ever consider I might have fallen for you during one of our many Friday nights in together?” she asked, gently. “Cuddling up with you under a blanket to watch those movies is usually the highlight of my week, whether it's just the two of us or with Nadia.... but if waiting until we're home in New York is what it takes to make you comfortable in this relationship, you know I'll wait. But for the record, there's not a chance in hell I'd ever get bored of you, Dee.”

There was a long drawn out silence where Damien just rubbed soothing circles down her spine, until he murmured: “Do you know when I knew? The very first time I realised what I felt for you?”

“You mean it wasn't the very second you laid eyes on me?” Nadine teased, tilting her head to press a kiss to his jaw.

Damien laughed and kissed her forehead. “We had known each other for about a year, and you'd just gotten dumped by... what's-his-face... the accountant. We were several drinks into a 'screw him, you can do better' session, and I was doing my best at a pep talk on the way home. You got really into it, climbed up on top of a bench and shouted: Hey! Listen up universe!”

“Oh my god, I remember this!” she chuckled, grinning up at him through the darkness. “I said: I curse that douchebag to never find a parking spot!”

“Yes! But the bench was covered in ice and you were tipsy, so you slipped and fell... very gracefully I might add... on your face. You looked up at me, covered in slush, with all the bravado completely wiped off your face, like you were about to cry but instead... you burst out laughing. I suddenly, immediately, knew my feelings for you were much more intense than I'd been telling myself,” he explained, holding her close. “There's no one like you, Naddie. You're absolutely perfect for me.”

“The feeling's mutual,” she smiled, barely stifling a yawn. “But I think we should try get some sleep.”

“Unfortunately, I think you're right,” Damien agreed, before asking: “Roll over for me?”

Obliging his request, Nadine grinned when he immediately wrapped his arm around her waist; holding her tightly from behind and prompting her to whisper: “Sweet dreams.”

“They always are when I'm with you,” he replied, nuzzling the back of her neck.

“You really are such a sap,” she teased, lacing her hand with his that rested over her stomach.

Damien pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder before murmuring: “Only for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As great as both versions of the sex scene on the train are, I couldn't shake the feeling it didn't fit with Damien saying multiple times that he wants to take things slow... which prompted me to write the scene, being more mindful of what 'slow' usually means in a relationship.


	5. Unsteady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since he'd discovered he wasn't who he thought he was, Dames had pushed himself as hard as he could, wanting to do anything and everything that might lead them to the real Damien... he'd also spent a lot of time avoiding being alone with HER. It hurt to be around her. He couldn't understand why despite everything, she was so nice to him. Why she was so sweet and understand when she had every right to hate him. Her kindness hurt, because Dames knew he didn't deserve even the tiniest scrap comfort and acceptance she offered; even though all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and beg for her forgiveness. But she deserved so much more than that. She deserved her Damien, and Dames hated that he could do that for her... he hated that he wasn't her Damien.

Ever since he'd discovered he wasn't who he thought he was last week, Dames had pushed himself as hard as he could, insisting Sloane dig into his brain as much as she needed... so they could find out what Eros had on them, find any relevant information that could lead them to the _real_ Damien. He'd insisted Hayden bind his hands as tightly as he could on that first day, the moment they got back to the hotel, just in case Eros had installed some programme in him that meant they could force him to hurt the others. He knew that Hayden and Steve understood his concerns, he knew they understood it gave him some peace of mind to be restrained, but now with his fellow androids asleep, Dames had been left with Sloane, Nadia and... Nadine. It hurt so much to look at her now, it hurt to know he was letting her down by just existing. So he refused to take a break, refused to rest until they had something that could lead them to the real Damien... _her_ Damien. But then Nadia had untied his hands, and Sloane had refused to push his system any further than she already had, before Nadine of all people had slipped her dainty hands into his and pulled him to his feet, insisting they went out for a bit... _together._ Processed tears had pricked Dames' synthetic eyes when she gave him an encouraging smile and led him to the door. Her kindness _hurt_. A pain that settled heavy in his mechanical heart the entire train journey to wherever Nadine was taking him, a pain that remained when she asked for his preference of alcohol... in case it wasn't the same as Damien's... when they stopped by a liquor store, a pain that twinged when he saw the picturesque canal she'd brought him to, and throbbed when Nadine actually sat down right beside him; instead of keeping her distance like he expected her to. After all, she should hate him for taking Damien's place, even though he'd not done it knowingly.

“How're you really handling all of this?” Nadine asked, kindly.

“It's disconcerting, to put it mildly,” Dames stated, quietly. “Thinking your life is yours, then being forced to accept it isn't.”

“I'm so sorry,” she whispered. “You don't deserve what they've done to you.”

“All my thoughts, the things I say... it's all him. All of it,” he explained, not daring to look at her. “...I guess I'm hoping a shard of _me_ exists somewhere, but I don't think it's possible.”

Nadine unexpectedly took one of his hands in both of hers. “Don't say that... please...”

“It's hard experiencing everything as if through a looking glass,” Dames stated, resisting the instinctual urge to squeeze her hand in case his abnormal strength hurt her. “I remember how it feels to be part of your group, to be part of my... well, Damien's family. I keep telling myself this life isn't mine, but sometimes... I wish it was.” He took a moment to blink back processed tears, before forming his synthetic lips into a careful smile when he forced himself to meet her warm brown eyes. “What do you miss most about having me... I mean Damien... around?”

“Don't. Don't punish yourself like this,” she murmured, glancing away to wipe a tear off her cheek. “And before you think to argue with me about this, there's no good answer to that question and you know it. I feel like I've lost a limb not having Damien here but that's _not_ your fault, so please stop punishing yourself for something Eros did.” She turned back to him, offering a watery smile. “None of this is your fault.”

Dames looked away and stared at the canal, silently watching how the lamplight reflected off the almost still surface. He felt so guilty for causing her so much pain, and was astounded she still found it in her heart to be nice to him. But no matter how sweet Nadine was to him... or more precisely _because_ she was so kind... Dames had tried to avoid being alone with her whenever he could. And as much as he wished it could be for completely selfless reasons, like it being solely for Nadine's comfort, he could admit at least to himself that some part of it was self-serving. His own emotions were so mixed up when it came to the purple haired beauty, and as much as he desperately wanted to take the comfort and acceptance Nadine had offered since the moment they'd both discovered he wasn't Damien, Dames didn't feel deserving of even the tiniest scrap of kindness she gave him; even though all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and beg for her forgiveness. But Nadine deserved so much more than that. She deserved her Damien, and Dames hated that he could do that for her... he hated that he _wasn't_ her Damien.

“I've been avoiding one-on-one time with you since the Louvre,” he admitted, ashamed. “Because we... well... kissed. And then...”

“I'd noticed... but we more than kissed, hun,” Nadine replied, surprisingly cupping his cheek and gently turning his face to look at her. “I don't regret it, if that's what you're worried about.”

Dames couldn't help starring at her in shock. “You... don't?”

“Do you?” she asked, unexpectedly.

“No, of course not. How could I? I just thought you'd be angry or uncomfortable,” he told her, hurriedly.

“Why would I? We both thought that... well, we both thought you were Damien at the time. Other than probably breaking a few public indecency laws, we did nothing wrong,” Nadine stated, her lips quirking into a half smile.

He tried to smile for her, he really did, because he knew she was only trying to cheer him up. But Dames couldn't help remembering he'd been unwittingly uploading his data to Eros at night, which meant those bastards had seen Nadine in the throes of passion; thankfully it'd been too cold on top of the Eiffel Tower to get undressed before he'd lifted her up and pressed her against the wall, so she at least had some semblance of modesty, but that didn't stop Dames feeling guilty. He hadn't even known he was sending the data, but that didn't stop him feeling any less responsible... and he couldn't shake the feeling those bastards had probably shown the footage to Damien in an attempt to break him. But just as his thoughts began to spiral, Dames unexpectedly felt Nadine lightly rest her head on his shoulder, as she gently squeezed his hand that was still clasped between both of hers.

“I know...” she whispered, her voice wavering. “I know they probably have footage of it, and _that_ I hate. I hate that for _both_ of our sakes. But I still don't regret it. It was reckless and exhilarating and special... knowing it was with you and not Damien doesn't change that, it's just... makes it different. But I could never regret it.”

Dames sucked in a surprised breath. “I wasn't expecting that, but... it'll always be special to me too. My first actual memory is fighting along side you all at the Eros facility, all the rest are just vague hints of Damien's life, so while I'm with you guys... I'm glad I get to make a few new memories of my own.”

“Do you have any favourites?” Nadine asked, glancing up at him.

For the first time since discovering he wasn't Damien, Dames gave her a genuine smile. “When we were outside the Louvre. After everyone had figured out that Damien was capture, they all panicked. Hayden tried to keep Sloane from spiralling... Nadia actually hyperventilated into her croissant's paper bag... but you sat next to me and asked if I was okay. Everyone else was looking at me like I was the enemy. I was confused, guilty, wholly terrified. But you didn't treat me like... whatever I am.”

“Yes I did. I treated you like a person, who's thoughts and feelings matter because _that's_ what you are,” she replied, sitting up to look at him straight in the eye. “You deserve happiness and love and to be cared for. You're not _just_ an android, Dames. You're a person who matters. You're my friend.”

“Thank you, Nadine,” he murmured, once again blinking back processed tears even as he smiled at her. “I'll do whatever it takes to get the real Damien back. I promise.”

“Dames... you do realise you're not expendable, right?” she asked, reaching up to gently cup his face. “I want Damien back more than anything, but not at your expense. You're important too, not someone to throw away when we rescue Damien... and I expect you to be around even once he's back. Okay?”

He wasn't sure what to say to that so just hung his head, contemplating the way she still held his hand, like he really did matter to her. He just... couldn't wrap his head around it. Nadine should _hate_ him, but she'd been by his side supporting him from the minute they discovered he wasn't Damien. She was the only one who didn't look at him like some interloper, who didn't act like she expected him to betray them at any moment. He didn't deserve her, which was made all the more apparent when he risked glancing up and found Nadine with tears rolling down her cheeks, and he realised instantly she was crying for _him_.

“I really want to hug you,” she whispered, brokenly.

“I'd like that,” he admitted, his voice cracking on the last word.

Nadine pulled him towards her then, as she moved to kneel beside him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Dames hugged her back, his arms curling around her waist as he held her close; unable to resist burying his face him the crook of her neck, breathing in the comforting floral scent of her perfume and the vanilla of her shampoo. She held him tightly, just like he remembered her holding him... Damien... whenever he'd had a bad day; like she hoped that if she held on tight enough, the broken pieces would fix themselves back together. That thought alone made him hiccup a sob, and when Nadine's only reaction was to start soothingly carding her fingers through his hair, Dames finally let himself break down and cry.


	6. Lost Boy (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dames wasn't sure how to act around her, not when they were alone at least. He had the almost uncontrollable urge to just hold her, to wrap his arms around her and never let go... but that wasn't his place. No matter how much he wished it was otherwise, he wasn't the real Damien. But he could still remember in perfect detail how she'd felt in the throes of passion, he could still remember how soft her lips were when they pressed tenderly against his, he knew what it felt like to hold her in his arms all night. So as they stood alone in the midst of their Tokyo hotel on the night before their daring rescue mission, Dames couldn't help wanting to take a risk... just one last time.

Even after their talk by the Parisian canal, Dames wasn't sure how to act around Nadine; not when they were alone together at least. When they were with the group, it was easier to keep his distance... though it hurt whenever he saw Hayden or Steve touch her without hesitation. But when it was just the two of them, like it was in their deserted Tokyo lounge, Dames didn't know what to do with himself. He had the almost uncontrollable urge to just _hold_ Nadine, to wrap his arms around her and never let go, but although she'd assured him before that his hugs were welcome, Dames didn't want to subject her to that. He didn't want to risk making her uncomfortable... didn't want to risk hurting Nadine more than his mere presence already did. So whilst the others slept soundly, they stood on opposite ends of the modern lounge and made jilted small talk, but when Dames risked glancing at Nadine properly and saw the obvious worry that was clear across her beautiful face for _him_ , the walls he'd tried to build around his emotions crumbled.

“I know I'm not... I'm not the real Damien. Not _your_ Damien,” he said, forcing himself to finally meet her eyes. “But I _am_. I remember every moment of our friendship, of my job on the force, of growing up with my sisters... the details are hazy, but... I feel them as if they really happened to me. I don't know my contacts phone numbers, but I remember what I thought of them... I can't remember my mother's face, but I remember how much she cares about me.”

“Sloane said they targeted your emotional memories over facts,” Nadine replied, quietly. Carefully.

“I wish they'd stuck to facts. Wouldn't I be more useful as a spy if I didn't care so much about you guys?” he stated, angry and frustrated. “If I didn't spend every waking second wanting to pull you close to me? If I didn't remember what it felt like to kiss you... and want to kiss you again every time I see you?”

Tears unexpectedly welled in her warm brown eyes as she stepped closer to him. “Dames, can I hug you?”

Not trusting himself to speak, he simply nodded and tried to hold himself still as she padded barefoot towards him. She was dressed for bed in the oversized t-shirt he remembered... that _Damien_ remembered... from the night they'd spent cuddled together on the train to Moscow. Dames screwed his eyes shut, trying to block out the memories of the way he... _Damien_... had felt that night, as Nadine's arms wrapped securely around his waist. She held him close like he actually mattered to her, and once he'd curled his arms protectively around her torso, Dames buried his face in the crook of her neck; practically melting into the comfort she offered, as processed tears began to roll silently down his cheeks.

“I'm sorry...” he murmured. “I know you all miss him, and I...”

“And you're an incredibly important person in your own right, that did nothing wrong,” she whispered, holding him tighter. “You do know I care about you for _you_ , right?”

He shook his head, not believing her. “You don't have to say that. I'm committed to our rescue mission, Nadine. Trust me, I'll give one hundred percent to the rescue... the real Damien. But... I _feel_ like Damien. I _am_ Damien. His life is all I have. After tonight, that life will belong to someone else. I guess it's been like that since the day one, but... I just want to be myself again.”

Nadine pulled back just far enough that she could look him in the eyes, as she cupped his stubbled cheek. “Dames, I meant what I said. I care about _you_. You're one of the sweetest, most selfless people I've ever met, and not just because Eros originally created you to be a copy of Damien. He might be your frame work but you're your own person, Dames. I've liked getting to know who _you_ are, and I know Hayden at least feels the same. You're important in your own right, and I just... I hate knowing you're hurting. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Dames was honestly still shocked that Nadine didn't hate him, never mind genuinely cared so much about him, and if he were being honest with himself, there were so many things he wanted to ask of her. But no matter how much Nadine insisted she wanted to help, Dames couldn't be that selfish. He knew he didn't deserve her acceptance and kindness, so he kept silent and simply shook his head.

“I may not know what you're going through, but I hope you know that I'm here for you,” Nadine murmured, her warm eyes searching his.

“I know... you'd do anything for Damien,” Dames replied, his voice thick with emotion.

“And for _you_ , Dames,” she insisted, her thumb caressing his cheekbone. “Please don't think I don't care about _you_.”

“Ugh... stop being nice to me. You're going to make me cry even more.”

“So cry,” she whispered, stepping back but loosely lacing her fingers with his. “It's just me and you. I got you.”

Feeling almost compelled, Dames followed Nadine as she gently tugged on his hands and led him towards her bedroom, though he couldn't help hesitating at the threshold. His eyes darted from her to the bed and back again, his heart hammering. He could still remember in perfect detail how she'd felt when they'd made love, he could still remember how soft her lips were when they pressed against his, and the heady feeling of burying his hands in her purple ombré waves. But as much as he wanted to be with her again, Dames couldn't... Nadine swore she didn't regret what had happened on the Eiffel tower, and he didn't want to push his luck; he didn't think he could handle being a regret.

“I'm not asking for that, don't worry,” Nadine suddenly said, reaching up to gently stroke his cheek. “And I'm not trying to pretend your Damien, Dames. You're _you_ , and that's more than enough. I just figured we could both use some rest... and some comfort.”

“Can... can I hold you?” he whispered, not daring to hope.

“I'd like that,” she smiled, gently.

Nadine's dainty hand gave his should a reassuring squeeze before she stepped away and headed for the bed, Dames shrugged out of his jacket and kicked off his shoes as he watched her slip into bed, but after he'd discarded his tie he hesitated. Of course Nadine noticed immediately, though she only gave him an encouraging smile before reaching over to switch off the bedside lamp. Being plunged into darkness gave Dames some semblance of privacy as he dressed down to his boxers, then with his heart racing, he settled into bed beside her. Nadine's hand found his immediately, and since he knew everything was going to change again tomorrow, for once Dames didn't resist the urge to pull her close; his forehead resting against hers.

“I... I need to tell you something, in case... in case tomorrow...” he began, swallowing passed the sudden lump in his throat.

She tensed for a moment, before she cradled his face in her warm palms. “I'm listening, Dames. I'm here for you, no matter what.”

Without thinking, he pressed a gentle kiss to the bridge of her nose, before whispering: “I love you, Nadine... I know I shouldn't say that, but with the stakes so high tomorrow, I needed to tell you. I love you just as much as Damien does, I am so glad for the few good memories we got to create together, and I will always be thankful that you've always treated me like a person.”

“You don't need to thank me for that, you _are_ a person, Dames,” Nadine murmured, lightly bumping his nose with hers. “You are you. You're wonderful... and given time, I know I'll love you too.”


	7. Lost Boy (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her heart pounded as she stared into Dames' eyes. He was her friend. He was part of the team. They didn't leave people behind. But she KNEW what he was about to do, just like she knew there was no stopping him... he was as stubborn as Damien after all. So with tears flowing freely, she urgently grabbed a fistful of Dames' shirt and yanked him down so she could press a desperate kiss to his unresisting lips. And although she'd foolishly hoped it might have been enough to convince him to escape with them, she realistically knew Dames wasn't going to change his mind. The kiss was goodbye.

Nadine's heart pounded as she stared into Dames' cold eyes. She couldn't believe the elation she'd felt at rescuing Damien and then fighting along side Dames to take down Harley, could evaporate so quickly. Because one minute they'd dispatched the guards together and were racing for the exit, the next Dames had collapsed in pain; one hand clutching his head that ended up resting in Alana's lap, the other held onto her hand like a life line. Damien had hovered over them, still obviously disorientated from his rescue and presumably surprised by how much she and Alana cared for his doppelgänger, but right then all Nadine could focus on was how desperately hard Dames was fighting whatever Cecile was doing to him. He was evidently in agony by the time he succumbed to whatever command that bitch had given him, but Nadine wasn't ready to let him go without a fight. He was her friend. He was part of the team. They didn't leave people behind. She didn't know what possessed Damien to help her try reasoning with Dames, instead of just stepping aside when Alana said she had a clear shot, but she was immensely thankful since it seemed to work. Because one minute Dames was staring at her coldly, as if he wanted her dead, the next recognition finally flickered back into his eyes.

“We were trained to resist brainwashing,” Damien urged, keeping himself firmly between her and Dames. “Didn't they download that into you? _Think_ , Dames! This isn't who you are.”

“Move it, Damien! I mean it. I've got a clear shot,” Alana prompted.

Nadine grabbed the agent's wrist, forcing her to lower the taser. “No! Don't! He's one of us.”

Dames stumbled, gasping her name as he fought off Cecile's hold, before a look of horror crossed his face. “I... I almost... oh god... Nadine...”

“You fought it,” she soothed, reaching around Damien to catch Dames' hand. “You were better than that.”

“If he's better we've got to move, now!” Alana grit out.

Nadine knew the woman was right, even before the sound of running boots echoed down the corridor. But Dames just stared wide eyed at Damien, shaking his head and somehow Nadine _knew_ what he was about to do... and she hated it. Especially when Dames refused to meet her gaze, even when he gently squeezed her fingers before letting go of her hand. Her heart raced and bile threatened to rise in her throat as she desperately tried to think of a way to convince Dames to escape with them, but she couldn't think of anything that might sway him.

“I can't go, not if they can make me hurt you all,” he stated, shaking his head again when Damien said his name. “You wouldn't go. You know I'm right... take care of her.”

At Damien's terse nod, Dames stepped around him and for once didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. Nadine returned his embrace fiercely, tears pricking her eyes when he pressed a hard kiss to her forehead, though heedless of the fact both Alana _and_ Damien were with them, Nadine urgently grabbed a fistful of Dames' shirt and yanked him down so she could press a desperate kiss to his unresisting lips. He stifled a sob as he kissed her back, and she could feel his hands tremble as he gently cupped her face. Tears were rolling down both their cheeks when they pulled apart, and although Nadine had foolishly hoped it might have been enough to convince him to stay, she knew Dames wasn't going to change his mind. It was goodbye.

“I love you,” he whispered brokenly, before pressing a final lingering kiss to her lips.

“I know,” she murmured, unable to stop crying. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. Go,” Dames urged. “Be safe. Be happy.”

His thumb traced her lower lip as he stepped away, though before he could turn to face Eros' guards, Nadine caught his wrist and handed him her taser. There was the barest hint of a smile as he took it, his fingers brushing against hers one last time before Damien gently tugged at her arm. She didn't want to go, didn't want to leave, but they were out of time and she knew Dames wouldn't change his mind; he was as stubborn as Damien after all. So with tears still flowing freely, Nadine grabbed hold of her best friend's hand and ran to the exit, Alana right behind them... determined to escape and not let Dames' sacrifice go to waste.


	8. Aftermath (Damien/MC)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien still couldn't believe he was free, but after being held against his will for so long, freedom felt so strange... not to mention the fact he was still trying to wrap his head around everything else; like watching the woman he loved kiss his clone, before the android had sacrificed himself to save them. But now they were stood side by side on a balcony over looking Tokyo, and Damien studied her eyes for several moments, just trying to ground himself in the here and now. Because he was free at last and they were together again... although they still needed to survive the conversation that was hanging over their heads like a storm cloud, begging to be discussed, whether Damien was ready for it or not.

Damien's hands gripped the railing as they stood side by side on the balcony over looking Tokyo. He still couldn't believe he was free... he wasn't even exactly sure how long Eros had him, but it had been long enough for him to start question his reality; not that having Nadine and Alana work _together_ to rescue him wasn't weird, or meeting his artificial clone for that matter. Honestly, Damien was still reeling from it all. After so long being held against his will, freedom felt so strange, not to mention he was still wrapping his head around everything: like watching Nadine kiss his clone before the android had sacrificed himself to save them... like her, Sloane, Hayden and even Alana practically holding a mini wake for Dames once they'd gotten back to the hotel. Like Nadia being the one to nearly crush him in a welcoming hug and not Nadine; though Damien guessed that might be more to do with his reaction when she'd first found him, than anything regarding her feelings. But she seemed so wary around him now, so nervous and apart from holding his hand as they'd fled from Eros', she'd barely been within arm's reach of him... until now.

“If you want to tell me what happened, I'm here to listen,” Nadine stated, her hand barely brushing his as it rested on the railing.

“I don't _want_ you to know what happened. I don't want you to know that I...” Damien trailed off, his whole body trembling before he slammed his hands on the railings in frustration. “I hate this! I hate being this lost, this _weak_... I hate that you have to see me this... broken.”

“You are not weak! And you are not broken!” she stated, vehemently. “You're a goddamn badass, Damien Nazario, and you know it! And I'm here for you, okay?”

“I don't want to burden you with this,” he told her, quietly.

“If you don't want to talk about it, then I understand. I'm not going to pressure you into anything you don't want to do, but you could _never_ be a burden to me, Dee,” Nadine assured, brushing her little finger against his.

He studied her warm brown eyes for several moments, just trying to ground himself in the here and now, before he took a shuddering breath and told her _everything_. He told her about the experiments and how Eros messed with his head. He told her about the Matches they'd made of Nadia, Alana and her. He confessed how they'd tricked him with her doppelgänger... how he'd kissed her clone. He explained the lies they'd told and the footage they'd shown him. Throughout it all, Damien looked out over the the night time city as he spoke but once he was done, he finally turned to face Nadine again and found her silently crying... _for_ him, for what he'd been through. It made his chest ache, and he gently rested his hand over the back of hers.

“I'm so sorry, Dee,” she murmured, wiping away her tears. “We didn't know we were leaving without you. None of us knew... if we had, we'd have never left.”

“I know that now... once I saw Dames it all made sense,” Damien admitted, quietly. “But alone in that cell, often going for days without human contact, it was hard not to feel abandoned. Even now... I can't seem to convince myself that all of this is real... that I can trust it. I fell for Eros' tricks so many times, they made me doubt my own reality. What if this is another lie?”

Nadine raised her hand up towards him as if she was going to cradle his cheek, but a pain look flashed across her face before her hand fell back to her side. She silently shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as she looked anywhere but at him.

“What is it?” Damien asked hesitantly, his fingers twitching to reach for her.

“Back at the the facility, you... didn't want me near you,” she said, sound uncharacteristically meek. “I don't... I don't want to overstep any boundaries. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, even accidentally.”

Damien's heart raced as the words sunk in; proving that this was real, that she _was_ his Naddie, that he had escaped... because Nadine was the only person other than his mother that had ever made his feelings a priority. The rush he felt was indescribable, and his pulse thundered in his ears as he curled his hand around Nadine's and tugged her closer. She stepped towards him, her warm brown eyes searching his in the expectant silence that fell over them, and her finger tips trembled when she reached up to caress his lips.

“Please...” he murmured, pressing feather-light kisses to her finger tips.

Nadine finally smiled at him, warm and loving, before she leant in and kissed him tenderly; her hands gently carding through his hair, until her arms lightly draped over his shoulders. Damien wrapped his around her waist, holding her as tightly as he dared. His lips trembled from his barely restrained tears as he kissed Nadine over and over again, drinking in the sweet and adoring way she pressed her lips to his... a sob catching at the back of his throat as he practically clung to her like a life line.

“I should have known it wasn't you,” he whispered against her mouth. “No one kisses me like you do, Naddie.”

“Can we... spend tonight together?” she asked, cupping his face.

Damien's heart dropped. “Nadine, you have no idea how much I want this, but it's too soon. I can't give you... everything you might want right now.”

The look she levelled him with was so soft and tender, that the tears he'd been holding back silently rolled down his cheeks. Nadine murmured his name and gently brushed his slightly too long hair back from his face, before she slowly... carefully... pulled him into a hug. Damien returned it instantly, burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing in the comforting vanilla-floral scent of her.

“All I want is to hold you and know you're safe,” she stated, her tone warm and kind. “I don't _need_ anything more than that, and I certainly don't expect anything from you either. If cuddling is too much, that's okay Dee. I'll respect whatever you want, but don't think for a moment that snuggling up with you doesn't sound like the most perfect thing in the world right now.”

Unable to help it, Damien nuzzled his face against her neck, making her giggle. “I missed you so much, Naddie, and cuddling sounds _really_ good actually. But... before we head back in, there's just one more thing... about Dames.”

Tears welled Nadine's eyes again, but she gave him a watery smile. “Of course.”

Damien took a steadying breath, fighting the urge to fidget before he said: “It seemed like you were close with him. You all were. And trust me, I know how convincing an Eros copy can be, but... I guess I'm wondering if there's anything I should know.”

“None of us saw him as a replacement for you. The second we knew you weren't with us, we did everything we could to find you. You're irreplaceable, Dee,” she stated, slowly entwining her fingers with his. “But things were... different with Dames, than what you went through. We both realised he wasn't you at the same time, and as soon as we did, he immediately told Sloane to do _everything_ she could to find you. He just gave her free reign of his brain, and even had Hayden tie him to a chair for the first few days in case Eros tried to use him to hurt us. Dames was a good man. He was part of the team, and I know Hayden thought of him as a friend just like I did. But...” Nadine paused to take a shaky breath, glancing away from him for a split second before meeting his eyes again resolutely. “But before we left Paris, before I knew Dames wasn't you... before _he_ even knew himself... we, we made love.”

“I figured,” he stated, really not at all surprised. He'd been an investigator long enough to recognise when a couple had intimate knowledge of each other.

“... on top of the Eiffel Tower,” she added, matter-of-fact.

Damien just gaped at her. “Wait, what? The Eiffel Tower?! In... _public_? That's public indecency.”

Nadine tried and fail to hide her small smile, as she turned to look out over Tokyo again. “I'm aware... I thought it was a 'thank god were alive and escaped' sort of adrenaline high.”

Unable to help it, he burst out laughing as he scrubbed hand across his face in disbelief, before moving to wrap his arms around her from behind. “Don't expect _me_ to ever do something like that.”

“I'm sorry, you know. I should have realised it wasn't you... considering everything,” Nadine stated, glancing over her shoulder at him. “I just... I really believed that running for our lives had changed your mind about wanting to wait.” She turned in his arms, until she could loosely drape her arms around his shoulders again. “Are we... okay?”

“Of course we are,” Damien assured, resting his forehead against her temple. “If I'd been in a similar position, I probably would have done the same.”

“Just not on the Eiffel tower?” she teased, leaning forward to brush her nose against his.

Damien pressed a feather-light kiss to the top of her nose in return. “ _Definitely_ not on the Eiffel tower.”


	9. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panting for breath, they reached an outcrop of rock that looked out over the Indian Ocean. The sun had begun to set, and stifling a tired groan, she sat down beside Damien on the grass and took a moment to simply breath. She let the peacefulness of the moment wash over her, and rested her head on Damien's shoulder as he curled an arm around her waist. But then he murmured her name and when she looked up at him, she couldn't help leaning in and kissing him softly. She'd been mindfuly to keep things gentle ever since they'd rescued him from Eros, so she sucked in a surprised breath when Damien deepened their kiss, his tongue starting a passionate dance with hers before he pulled away and whispered: “I... want you."

Panting for breath, Nadine and Damien reached an outcrop of rock near the end of the hiking trail that looked out over the Indian Ocean. The sun had begun to set, though there was enough light to see a ring of stones that had embers still burning amongst the ash, and she smiled fondly as Damien set about gathering more wood then coaxed the fire back to life. Stifling a groan, Nadine sat down beside him on the dry springy grass, and took a moment to simply breath. It had been so long since it was just the two of them, because even though they spent each night cuddled up together, they slept on one of the sofas in the lounge with Khaan and Sloane taking up the other two, since it had been an unanimous decision to let Hayden take the only bed whilst he recovered. So Nadine breathed a sigh of relief, letting the peacefulness of the moment wash over her, then rested her head on Damien's shoulder as he curled an arm around her waist. But then he murmured her name and when she looked up at him, finding him smiling at her with such obvious affection, Nadine couldn't help leaning in and kissing him softly; still mindful to keep it sweet and tender like she had been since the night they'd finally rescued him from Eros. She'd done her best not overstep any boundaries Damien had, so she sucked in a surprised breath when he actually deepened their kiss, his tongue starting a passionate, maddening dance with hers... before he suddenly pulled away, his hands flexing against her shoulders and his breath sounding shaky. Nadine frowned in concern, not exactly sure what was going on in Damien's mind as his warm brown eyes searched hers intently.

“I... want you, Nadine,” he said, hesitantly. “I wasn't ready before... I needed time. After everything that happened with Eros, having my reality messed with, feeling like I couldn't trust my own thoughts... I just didn't feel right. But you... you've been amazing. You've supported me, and never treated me any different even after everything that happened.”

“I love about you, Damien. You know that,” she smiled, reaching up to light stroke his beard that she'd become quite fond of.

“I do. I love you too,” he replied, resting his forehead against hers. “I wanted to wait until we were back in New York to really have a relationship with you, but it's starting to feel like we'll never make it back home.”

“Home is love and comfort, where people care about you and you can be yourself. It doesn't have to be a specific place. My 'home' is right here with you,” she countered, cupping his face.

Damien levelled her with a look that was nothing short of adoring. “You're so damn _corny_ , Naddie.”

“Oh please, you love it,” Nadine grinned, leaning forward to boop his nose with hers.

He wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her into a tight embrace. “Yeah... I kinda do. And... I'm ready now. I want this, I want _you_.... if this is what you want too?”

“Dee, you _never_ have to worry about me wanting you, in every way possible,” she assured, pulling back to kiss him sweetly.

“Then let's make up for lost time,” he whispered.

Despite the fact they hadn't seen another soul... apart from that damn monkey who'd almost run off with Damien's wallet... there was the unspoken agreement they weren't going to take too many chances. Thankfully, Nadine had chosen to wear shorts under a long tunic that fell to the top of her thighs, so she kicked off her hiking boots and socks before shimmying out of her shorts and underwear; and whilst she partially undressed, Damien pulled off his shirt and undid his jeans, though before Nadine could slip her hand beneath his boxers, he was coaxing her to lay down beside him.

“Lie back for me?” he requested, his voice warm and gentle.

“Yes, sir...” she replied playfully, surprised when he visibly shivered and filed his reaction away for another time.

“God, Naddie. You make me want to give you the world.”

Without another word Damien knelt between her legs, running his calloused hands up her thighs and pushing her tunic up just enough to expose her to the balmy breeze. Nadine smirked up at him, not the least bit self-conscious as he gently eased her legs wider apart, and caressed either side of her core. He smiled at her, a hint of mischief in his warm brown eyes as he settled between her thighs; his breath ghosting over her skin, making her squirm in anticipation until his tongue finally gave her a slow lick. Nadine's back arched at the sensation, as she gasped his name when he repeated the motion. Damien chuckled as his attention maddeningly moved to focused on stroking and kissing her inner thighs and the creases of her hips. He was driving her to distraction; the anticipation mounting as his lavish attention seemed to be heading towards her core... before he switched direction to kiss her pelvis and thighs again. The process repeated several times and Nadine buried her hands in her own hair... trying to remember she needed to go at Damien's pace and not curse him for being a damn tease... until his tongue _finally_ found her core again. His licks were slow and almost tortuous, and she fought hard not to direct him to the bundle of nerves that most wanted his attention. But her patience eventually paid off, because she suddenly felt Damien's lips close around her sensitive bundle of nerves, a sudden suck that made her back arch off the grass again, before he start to lap at her; slowly at first, then speeding up until she writhed at his ministrations. It felt so good, but Nadine couldn't stop thinking about finally having him inside her.

“Damien... please,” she gasped, her hand reaching down to gently card through his hair.

He pulled away to lean over her, obviously understanding her plea. “Are you sure?”

“I want you, Dee,” Nadine assured, cupping his handsome face. “So unless you've changed your mind...?”

“Hell, no!” Damien smiled.

He reached into his back pocket as he spoke, though looked almost sheepish when he retrieved a distinct foil packed, but Nadine didn't mind that he'd come prepared... she was honestly relieved... and she laughed warmly as she sat up to free him from his boxers, pushing them and his jeans down just enough that he could easily roll on the condom. Her hands cupped his face, enjoying the pleasant scratch of his beard against her palms as she kissed him tenderly, and smiled her thanks when he sat back and offered her a hand, helping her to easily straddle him.

“Ready?” she asked, resting her forehead against his.

Damien gave her a small smirk, tilting his hips just enough so he brushed against her core, making Nadine shake her head fondly at his teasing before she slowly sank down; sighing at the delicious fullness as he groaned her name. His warm hands settled on her hips beneath her tunic, whilst hers clasped around his neck as she rolled her hips slowly, drawing out their pleasure, wanting to leave Damien with no doubt that she loved him. His gaze remained locked with hers as they moved together, and the way he whispered her name and showered her with kisses let Nadine know Damien felt the same. It made the end goal less of a priority than it had with anyone else, though she still clung to him, kissing him hard when the mounting pleasure finally broke and left her trembling in Damien's arms. Unexpected tears pricked Nadine's eyes as she regarded him as they both recovered from their joint release, and a relieved huff of laughter bubbled out of her when she realised she wasn't the only one who's eyes shone wetly in the dancing firelight.

“How did I get so lucky to have the most remarkable woman in the world as my girlfriend?” Damien smiled, gently tucking some of her wayward waves behind her ear.

“The same way I landed the most amazing man as my boyfriend,” Nadine countered, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before slowly moving off him.

She reached for the small backpack they'd brought with them on their hike, handing him some tissues to clean up with, then dug out their last bottle of water and took a sip before passing it to Damien. He smiled his thanks and waited just long enough for her to shimmy into her underwear and shorts again, before he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against his still bare chest. Nadine indulged as she let her hands wander over his toned torso, though couldn't hide her grin when Damien tugged her to sit in between his outstretched legs; her back flush to his chest, whilst his arms wrapped around her middle and his chin resting on her shoulder.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For sticking with me... for waiting.”

“You're more than worth it,” she reassured, settling her hands over his. “I just hope you don't end up regretting not waiting until we're home.”

“You could never be a regret, Naddie,” Damien assured, kissing the juncture where her neck met her shoulder. “You are everything I've ever wanted, and you have no idea how happy you make me... but I can't deny that I'm not looking forward to having a normal life with you.”

Nadine smiled, as she tilted her head to kiss his cheek. “So tell me... what's our lives going to look like when we get back to New York?”

“We'll watch a lot of bad made-for-TV-movies, eat nachos and complain about work...” he smiled.

“That _does_ sound like our regular lives,” she chuckled.

Damien gave a thoughtful hum. “We'll have a nice apartment in the city together, and I'll make you breakfast every morning.”

Very slowly, Nadine turned to face him, her heart suddenly racing with excitement. “Dee, did you... just ask me to move in with you?”

He cupped her face, smiling warmly as he leant to rest his forehead against hers. “That depends if you're going to say yes...”


End file.
